Bob Dawson offers the
following review of Tim Keller’s book, The
Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with Wisdom from God.
Just click the title for details and other helpful reviews from Amazon.com.
The Meaning of Marriage
Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom
of God
By Timothy Keller
With Kathy Keller
Are you getting married next
month? Have you been married for fifty years? Perhaps you are some where
between these two extremes.
Timothy Keller makes his case
for the complexities of marriage by drawing heavily on Ephesians 5:18-33 where
Paul talks about a man leaving his mother and father and clinging to his wife.
A man shall leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery….
Ephesians 5:31-32
In the first chapter, The Meaning of Marriage” he states: I’m tired of listening to sentimental talks
on marriage. At weddings, in church, and in Sunday school, much of what I’ve
heard on the subject has as much depth as a Hallmark card. While marriage is
many things, it is anything but sentimental. Marriage is glorious, but hard.
It’s a burning joy and exhausting victories. No marriage I know more than a few
weeks old could be described as a fairy tale come true. Therefore, it is not
surprising that the only phrase in Paul’s famous discourse on marriage in
Ephesians that many couples can relate to is verse 32 printed above. Sometimes
you fall into bed after a long, hard day of trying to understand each other,
and you can only sigh, “This is all a profound mystery!” At times, you marriage
seems to be an unsolvable puzzle, a maze in which you feel lost.
“I believe all this, and yet there’s no relationship
between human beings that is greater or more important than marriage……And that
is why, like knowing God himself, coming to know and love your spouse is
difficult and painful—yet rewarding and wondrous.”
In the chapter The Secret of Marriage Rev. Keller
quotes ethics professor Stanley Hauerwas as follows:
Destructive to marriage is the self-fulfillment ethic
that assumes marriage and the family are primarily institutions of personal
fulfillment, necessary for us to become “whole” and happy. The assumption is
that there is someone just right for us to marry and that if we look closely
enough we will find the right person. This moral assumption overlooks a crucial
aspect to marriage. It fails to appreciate the fact that we always marry the
wrong person.
We never know whom we marry; we just think we do. Or
even if we first marry the right person, just give it a while and he or she
will change……The primary problem is…learning to love and care for the stranger
to whom you find yourself married.
Rev. Keller goes on to
explain that a biblical marriage is not a contract but a covenant. He goes to
great lengths to explain the difference and how that difference is vitally
important.
So if you are looking for a
spouse or trying to strengthen your marriage of many years this book is for
you. Whether you are a man or a woman, it will clarify what you should be
looking for in a future spouse and it will point out how you should be relating
to the spouse you have.
I strongly recommend this
book to anyone who wants to make their marriage the truly biblical covenant
marriage that God wants it to be.
May God bless,
Bob Dawson
Keller, Timothy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities
of Commitment with Wisdom from God. Dutton Adult, 2011. 288 pages. $25.95 ($14.34
at Amazon).
